In high school your reputation is what will be the outline of who you are for the rest of your life. Or so it seems so. A boy that wants to look like a man in front of his friends because he got a girl and can claim anything he wants is to blame for this outline. The girl is labeled a slut and easy; she is harassed and bullied relentlessly until she can no longer deal with this new reputation and the unwanted popularity she receives from it. She decides slitting her wrists is less painful than living another day in this life.
This IS the sad reality of our children today. It is no longer all in good fun , busting each others balls this is full own ruining lives. When my parents grew up and their parents grew up a little tough love was necessary. This is not the world we live in today. Children are now being threatened, beat up emotionally and physically. Children these days are mean. They harass others sexually, mentally and physically. Its unacceptable and needs to stop.
Growing up, hearing someone complain about small town problems I couldn’t relate. I went to private catholic schools my whole life and never really hung out in my hometown. I thought of a small town as a place somewhere in the south with dirt roads and everyone knows your name. To me, this sounds amazing and I always wanted to be from a small town like that. Turns out even though I was never a small town girl, I would feel the wrath of the small town gossip on a few occasions.
I chose to share my story of being bullied in middle school and high school. At 30 I am finally breaking my silence. So other girls out there can read this and know they are not alone!
My life was a 13 reasons why reality. My teenage life relates so closely to Hannah that watching this series felt like watching my high school and college years. However, one very big difference is tape #13 I was not sexually assaulted or raped. My heart goes out to anyone that has ever had to go through that trauma.
In high school, the older girls would push me around call me an ugly slut. The thing was, I was far from that. I was beautiful and had never even kissed a boy yet. I had blonde hair, blue eyes and I was skinny. Now that I am an adult I now know I was a target for these bullies. I was tortured relentlessly daily by the junior and senior girls. It turned me into a different person. I closed off from everyone close to me, not even my closest friends knew of the trauma I endured. I never wanted to go to school, I was terrified of what new rumors these girls would create.
Gossip spreads like wildfire; no one cares about the truth. They only want to talk about the latest juicy details. Each time the story is shared it becomes more exaggerated. I never talked about it to my friends or family because I couldn’t hear anything more. The bullies screaming at me in hallways, and pushing down stairs was enough. Im sure I would have lost my damn mind if I heard any stories.
The worst part about high school is when you graduate it doesn’t all end. You see, those rumors never get put to rest. The rumors about females are almost always started by a male that doesn’t have a chance with her or a jealous female.
I never chose the “popular crowd” because I couldn’t stand people that were all about being popular and only did things to look cool. I was friends with people that were real to me. I never wanted to be with the jock and half the cheerleaders were the ones that started rumors about me. I thought hanging with the low key people made me less of a target and they didn’t have any hidden agendas. Turns out those low key people are usually one from low key places, like small towns. Their peak was in high school and as of today they still live in those small towns and still talk about the same garbage from high school.
Today, I can look back on my high school years and college years and laugh. I am so much stronger today than I was back then. When you’re a teenager, you do not understand why people are so cruel. Now that I am an adult I realize people are fucking assholes. Everyone that talks badly about someone else is doing it because THEY are insecure. If you are reading my blog right now, and we are no longer friend. You are reading it because you, are insecure. In actuality the person that gets talked about is always a threat to other people. That’s why they feel the need to try to make them look less beautiful, interesting, smart… you choose. They fail miserably because they are still in the same place they were back then, and the actual victim in all of this becomes stronger and more successful all thanks to your bullshit.
Yes, this sounds fairly cocky. But it needs to be said for all of the beautiful young women out there that have had their lives destroyed by rumors and gossip and bullshit by people that are in no fucking place to point a finger. Now thanks to social media these low life’s can stalk your social media outlets and weep. Yes, those girls you bullied and tortured are still beautiful, they are confident and they’re still skinny. If you think for a slight second I need to get off my high horse remember I went thru hell and back. Then go look in the mirror and ask if you could have for one second lived a life where people constantly put you down, every second of every day. If they lied about you and there wasn’t a damn thing you could do about it. If you said you could, you’re a fucking liar and you’re in complete denial about your own life.
Ill never be the girl to pick another girl apart, or put her down. If I think a girl is gorgeous I’m going to tell her and I want good for her. I truly do in my heart want good for others. To all the girls out there, of all ages I hope this brought strength to your soul. I hope you know you have never been alone, there is always another girl out there hurting from the same things you are. Never let a bully win. Never think that you would feel less pain if you were no longer alive. This is your life and no one can take that from you unless you allow them to. Speak up, I never did when I was going thru it. People need to be put In their place. Today there are so many people that are here to help including myself. Schools now realize the devastating effects bullying and rumors have on people and it is not tolerated. Unlike when I was in high school and the dean of students would dust voice mail death threats under the rug because the parents of the bully made many generous donations to the school.
Know that once you get to a certain age in life you really don’t care what people think of you. You realize all your bullies were losers, the small towns still have the same people living in them they are fat, balding , have a couple children out of wedlock or are in complete denial about who they really are.Then, there’s the people that are happy, healthy and giggling because they have control over their life and choose to be happy.
Recap: bullying is the worst experience you wil ever have to go thru. however, you will learn so much about other people. You will learn how to deal with the shittiest people of the wold and you will never again have to deal with being in a classroom or a food court with people that whisper about you. You have the choice to not go to high school reunions, and you have the choice to cut off the negative people and the toxic people and become a better person from all the hell you went thru. The bullies always lose in the end. The bullies will neve admit to being a bully but if you talk bad about someone, spread rumors, and tell stories that aren’t your to tell then you were part of the problem.
Now that im 30, nothing in high school matters to me. I see people i may not have been close with and we’ve become FBI friends and im truly happy to see them having a successful, happy life. I see people who weren’t good people and they got what they deserved in life. Ive also seen people do a complete 180 and become better people, I have a lot of respect for them also.
Focus on yourself everyday, don let negativity ruin your sparkle. Treat people the way you want to be related and don’t waste your time on people that dont deserve you.